Trying something different this year

On this, the 2nd anniversary of daddy's death, 2 years and 2 days since I last saw him, and 2 years 25 days since I last spoke to him, I am trying something different.

Last year on this day, I took off from work.  I wasn't sure whether I would be a wreck or not.  I was.  I went to mass, then promptly returned to my darkened bedroom with a bottle of scotch.  I did cry a little.  And I drank almost the whole bottle of scotch.  I kind of made sure I would be a wreck.  They say you can call things to you.  I realized soon after that day that it's true.  If you plan out a day to be miserable, God's gonna make sure you're miserable.

This year, I am at work.  In fact, I am "working" as I write this.  I'm going to a waxing appointment after work and then home to dinner with a loved one.  I have stopped calling him.  Yeah, business as usual.  Daddy would've wanted me to "quit dawdling" and stop whining and get with the program, so here you go, dad.

I bet he is having a steak dinner with a bloody Mary while watching a tango show.  I would love to join him.

I haven't eaten a good piece of red meat in months.

"Why in the hell would you do that to yourself???"

I don't know, daddy.  I don't know.